Tuesday, February 7, 2012

The AGE PACKAGE - Who Can I Blame?


This is a WHINE list you do not have to uncork.

Simply take your WHINING (on any topic) and add it to the
COMMENTS below.



Feb 7th 2012

My current Whine is:

I have a bone to pick with whoever
invented getting old.

How dare they mess around with our perfectly good bodies and brains in this way.  Who do they think they are, Congress?  When I was a kid, no one warned me that aches, pains, and wrinkles would be payment for hanging around for a bunch of decades.  

 When the doctor told Mum to look out for "Arthur," I thought she was having another baby.  Who knew Arthur was short for arthritis?   I had no clue.  And then there was Grandma.   I thought all grandmas came packaged that way: white haired, bent over, and wrinkly - like a prune.


I was never going to get old and wrinkly - no way, no how.  Guess I was "green" before it ever came fashionable.  I came packaged with strong legs and arms, smooth healthy skin, and enough energy to light up a small town - I was invincible: until suddenly I began to notice things.

Mum had a few gray hairs - they were not in her original package. And Dad got what the doc said was an ulcer.  How could this happen?  He didn't come with an ulcer.  And then I started to develop in ways that were definitely NOT part of my original package.

Taller, more rounded, and my always happy mood morphed into, "Pull the parent chain as often as I can get away with it," kinda thing.   My original package had disappeared.  Vanished! Vamoosed!  I was left holding a very different package - one that had boobs, and a butt boys whistled at. YIKES!!


Fortunately for my sanity, this package stayed with me for a number of years.  I grew complacent.  Then, one day I looked in the mirror and I saw a white hair, followed by a wrinkle, followed by my scales yelling,  "Hey chubby, go easy on the cookies and cake!"

My package had reached a peak, and it was now all downhill.  SOB! My mum once told me this gem of wisdom. "If you feel terrific when you get up in the morning, never look in the mirror.  If you do, the feeling will dribble away fast, like ice cream on a hot day."  Boy, was Mum smart.

Talk about a slow learner.  It's taken me a lifetime to learn that the package we come in does not stay the same.  Some !@#$ person decreed our package must change.  This slow dawning information has sorely strained my sense of humor.  Anyone who thinks aches, wrinkles, and hip replacements are a big giggle, needs a good swift kick.



Yet, after mulling this post over for some time, I have come to a surprising conclusion about me and my ever changing package - it sure as !@#$ beats the alternative!!  


How is YOUR package holding up?
The COMMENTS section below
  is keen to host your answers. 

Let's hear it from the Social Security Generation.
YEA! 




 ===========================

Books for Kids - Manuscript Critiques
BOOKS - a Gift for ALL Occasions!
http://www.margotfinke.com

===========================



My WHINE RULES
1 - You CAN DRINK wine while spilling your beans in "comments."
2 - 4 letter words that have to do with sex or bodily functions will be CORKED!
  3- You can tell readers what pisses you off royally - just do it in a "literary" manner.
4 - Be a GRINCH if you must, but humor always earns a gold star!
5 - THINK before you write - or at least before you hit SEND. 

 6 - BE  SMART
Do not WHINE about stuff that could get you
jailed, sued, divorced, or otherwise spanked!


This is my road - so MY rules apply.
(Whine about it if you like. . .)




 *******************


14 comments:

  1. This was perfect for me today, growing old sure isn't easy. Hubby had 2 teeth pulled today, and Arthur is making his presence know at my house too. But, you are right... the alternative isn't good at least not before my next book comes out. Thanks for sharing.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sorry you day was a bit old and wrinkly, mate. I know, Arthur is a huge non welcome guest.

    Hope you at least got a giggle.

    BOOKS for Kids - Manuscript Critiques
    http://www.margotfinke.com

    ReplyDelete
  3. You're a riot, Margot. Well, my package is holding up okay considering I've borne three kids. I don't get enough sleep and I don't eat as well as I should, which is something that needs to change before my body decides it's had enough.

    Thanks for the laugh.

    Cheryl

    ReplyDelete
  4. Had to laugh. I decided a while back mirrors are not my favourite item. Yesterday at physio for a back problem that reared its ugly head last year, I had to ask the physio to take the mirror away. She'd put it there to make me see the posture wasn't great while doing the exercise, but I couldn't cope with the offensive creature aka the mirror.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Margot, this is so cute and I love humor too. I've nursed an Achilles tendon tear for months and the day after my doc released me, I tripped, went air-borne over the dishwasher door and landed on my "good" knee. Needless to say, the floor didn't give a bit. Now I have two bad ankles, two bad knees, a surprise attack bladder, and hot flashes. Sheesh! So there's nothing left to do but write Boomer Lit that includes antics and enough humor to keep me laughing while I smear on the liniment:-)
    www.susanwhitfieldonline.com
    www.susanwhitfield.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  6. Cheryl and Dave, glad I gave you a giggle. Sometimes it's a matter of choice - if you don't laugh you end up crying!

    But hey, I'm still pissed off at the !@#$ who set all this up for us to deal with.

    BOOKS for Kids - Manuscript Critiques
    http://www.margotfinke.com

    ReplyDelete
  7. Oh dear, sorry Dale. I miss read your name as Dave.

    SUSAN:
    Yes, you definitely have a "gotta laugh or cry" scenario there, mate. My sincere sympathy goes to you. I know all about the hip, knee, and surprise attacks. I guess the joy of getting older never quits!!

    BOOKS for Kids - Manuscript Critiques
    http://www.margotfinke.com

    ReplyDelete
  8. Janet, let's sponsor a, "Ban All Mirrors" day each year. Give the wrinklies something to be thankful for!!

    BOOKS for Kids - Manuscript Critiques
    http://www.margotfinke.com

    ReplyDelete
  9. Arthur visited and has stayed since I was 30. 7 years ago. He goes easy on me till it gets very cold. The older I get the more I sound like my father and look like my mother with the personality of my grandparents. How? Why? I am ok with it. I also have no choice. Great 'whine' here:) Jill

    ReplyDelete
  10. Jill, you are my kinda gal. I guess we gotta go with the flow - freezing cold OR boiling hot. But I'd love just 5 minutes alone with Arthur. I'd give him something to remember me by - instead of the the other way around.

    Thanks for joining the fun (??) mate.

    BOOKS for Kids - Manuscript Critiques
    http://www.margotfinke.com

    ReplyDelete
  11. I have awarded you the Liebster Blog award. Read about it and pass it on.

    http://www.boystobooks.com/2012/02/i-won-liebster-award.html

    ReplyDelete
  12. Trudy, I have already had the honor of being a Liebster winner- just the other day. But I have yet to add it to my Blog.

    Thank you so much for thinking of me, mate. I appreciate it.

    BOOKS for Kids - Manuscript Critiques
    http://www.margotfinke.com

    ReplyDelete
  13. Self-publishing/advertising racket. If you are a writer, then please beware of self-publishers. One in particular, Guideposts (Inspiring Voices), hiding behind the veil of their Angels on Earth magazine, a compilation of angel stories supplied to them by the readership. Angels on Earth has a paid distribution of millions. Great place to advertise if your book is of the same genre.
    Well, here's the deal, to advertise with Angels on Earth, you must re-PUBLISH with Inspiring Voices (Guideposts), and that's a cost of several thousand dollars. Still, with such a high distribution to a captive audience, it still should work out if your book is good.
    But you find later, after you are re-published with Inspiring Voices, and that your royalty checks are barely chicken feed, that you have no account to verify, no account exists in the company to tell you how many of your books were actually sold, at least not for your eyes.
    This is despicable and should be investigated. It begs for a class action law suit.

    ReplyDelete